Shit Happens

                               SHIT HAPPENS
                       in various world religions
 
 
TAOISM:  Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM:  Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN:  (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM:  If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM:  Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM:  Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS:  Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY:  Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens.  Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:  Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM:  Why does shit always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM:  Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM:  What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM:  What is this shit?

ATHEISM:  I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM:  Who needs this shit?

AZTEC:  Cut out this shit!

QUAKER:  Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM:  No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO:  Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE:  Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM:  Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM:  Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM:  Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:  Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM:  Shit happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM:  This shit has happened before.

WICCA:  Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM:  Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY:  You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS:  Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:  No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES:  No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES:  Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI:  Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM:  This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM:  Our shit is good for you.

EST:  If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM:  Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM:  Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT:  A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS:  Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM:  Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM:  Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

Someone sent us a request to remove his own religion from the list, as a matter of "respect". Here's how RMS replied:

I wrote this version of the list (adding to earlier versions that
circulated on the net).  I am not going to make the change you
request.

My own view on the issue of religion, Atheism, is made fun of in this
list.  The religion of my ancestors is also included.  Even the
Church of Emacs is included. You may think your religion
deserves more respect than others, but I don't.  No one is entitled to
that kind of "respect".

So this item will remain in the list.

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.

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Updated: $Date: 2004/08/06 00:01:53 $ $Author: derekgnu $