Unix Error Messages

 [colorful rounded image of the Head of a GNU]

From: ttt@ottawa (Tom Thomassen)
=================================cut here=================================== 
(% represents the csh, $ represents the bourne shell)
% "How poorly would you rate the UNIX (so-called) user interface?
Unmatched ".
% rm congressional-ethics
rm: congressional-ethics nonexistent
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.
% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
%make love
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% \(-
(-: Command not found.
% sh
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending
$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create
Or, in a System V (att) universe:
$ cat "can of food"
cat: cannot open can of food

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.


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Updated: 8 Apr 2000 tower